By: LaTron Brown
With the aging parents, demanding careers, active children, and the need to maintain adequate social interactions, family caregivers who are juggling the demands of all these areas of their life might find it difficult to manage. Some people attempt to continue to haphazardly juggle all aspects of their lives without much assistance from their family members or spouse. This overwork can lead to diminished success in one or more areas leading to stress, anxiety, depression, and constant beliefs that they are not living up to their fullest potential. Regrets might arise for actions that have taken place in one’s life—even those that are beyond control. While there is no way to turn back the hands of time, or re-create a plan, it is much more vital not to linger in this stage of angst. It is absolutely necessary to develop strategies to move forward in the present and future. Caregiving is a full time job that comes with great responsibility, successes and challenges. There are three levels of care that caregivers tap into in order to lessen the burden in one’s life. Depending on the need, this is typically the process that caregivers go through when seeking aid. The first level of care is self re-evaluation and re-organization. The second level of care is to utilize the resources of the immediate family. Third level of care is to turn toward community resources.
First, when caregivers find themselves unable to optimally maintain all areas of their life, it is necessary to create a plan based on where you are at the present moment in your life. Do not become focused on the “should have’s”. What must you do to move forward from here? Just as it is vital for businesses to continually reassess the environment and update its business plan based on current variables, the family caregiver must take an analysis of the environment and update his or her strategies to move forward in the future. For example, you find yourself struggling to maintain your flourishing career with caring for your mother who has Alzheimer’s. You have siblings who live on the opposite side of the country. Many of your loved one’s friends have either passed away or moved to other locations. While we all face the work/life balances challenges, you may find it necessary to ask your boss to rearrange your schedule, ask for a certain days off, or even work from home. Some caregivers, with the help of their spouse, find it necessary to take a less demanding positions or career path. However, this is not practical for all.
In your plan it is necessary to surround yourself with network of family members. This strategy worked for my mother as my grandmother was struggling with Alzheimer’s disease. While some of our family members had moved away and others were unable to provide assistance, my mother, father, and I banded together to take turns caring for her. Many become concerned about certain tasks; however, it is vital to mutually overcome that challenge or work with family members who are more comfortable accomplishing tasks. For my grandmother, it worked out perfectly as she was able to remain at home and gain the attention and love she deserved. The responsibility should not fall squarely on the shoulders of one family member. Having multiple family members care for the loved one benefits the love one as it provides familiar faces in a familiar environment. It provides necessary social interaction that helps them feel loved and full of worth. They will not feel abandoned. As well, the primary caregiver will not feel as though the family is being selfish and unwilling to help do their part in the care process. Unfortunately, this burden is something that many siblings must endure; therefore, it is necessary to plan in advance.
If the caregiver does not have adequate amount of familial resources to aide in the process, then one must turn toward community resources. This involves friends, neighbors, home and community based senior services, church members, Local Areas on Aging agencies, etc. However, the resource you select should depend on the level of experience and commitment to improving the life of your loved one demonstrated through their unique knowledge, skills, and abilities. Additionally, to benefit your loved one, encourage their friends and familiar acquaintances to maintain communication. This can be accomplished by phone, in person, or they are active users, tap into email and online social networks. If online video communication is possible utilize it. Seeing their depression diminish will have a positive impact on your well-being as well.
It is necessary for you to keep a peace of mind knowing that your plan will help ease the challenges on you and on your loved one. To further reduce your stress, try to maintain a positive balance of personal time and activities. Maintain hobbies and interests join support groups, and get plenty of exercise. Getting as little as one hour a week to yourself will yield positive results.
In conclusion, if there are a few takeaways from this article. I will reiterate the importance of creating a plan. Know your strategy for maintaining your loved one’s well-being which will ultimately impact your well-being for the better. Second, rally together family resources. Caregiving should not be placed solely on the back on one child; however, there will be those family members who are resistant to do their fair share. When this occurs, turn toward other family members and community resources. Since the American family is not an extended family unit as it used to be, community resources are there to help. Make sure that whoever you utilize in this third level of support has the experience and the passion that you have for caring for your loved one. Once you have your plan and resources in place and implemented, try to maintain a peace of mind. Take care of your well-being, by participating in the activities that will benefit you. Focus on other areas of your life that you want to maximize. Most importantly focus on optimal living!
